By Dr. John E. Morgan

Pastor–Collinsville Baptist Church

The word came to me through the local grapevine.  Local gossip line.  The message - their marriage was in trouble.  It was a young couple who had only been married a couple of years.

As a pastor, I try to go and speak to people who have rumors flying about them. Try to find out the truth of the talk. Talk to them and not everybody else in the community. The husband had a job at a local store.  I waited until a quiet time before I dropped in at the store to talk to him.

“I want you to know that I heard that you and your wife are having problems.  I wanted to come talk to you about it so I could find out if there was any truth to the rumors.”

He ducked his head.  “Yes sir, we are.”

“Tell me about it.  What’s the problem?”

“Well, we just don’t seem to be able to communicate with each other.  We never talk.  We never spend time together.”

“That’s a shame.  It can be really hard for any couples to find time to spend with each other.  Tell me about your schedules.”

“Well, I work days at my regular job, then come here and work until bed time.  She works late shift so she is getting home as I leave. And she works some weekends.  That’s why we are never in church.”

“So, you are only see each other for a few hours on Saturday or Sunday.  No other time?” A nod yes.  “I wonder why you’re having trouble talking with each other.”

He ducked his head again.  “Yeah, I know, but we want to put some money in the bank for a house.  Maybe we’ll go to the beach for a few days.”

We talked a little longer, but I left knowing disaster was fast approaching.  They divorced a few months later. No word on who got the money from the bank accounts.  They wanted a house.  It cost them their home.

When I counsel couples before marriage, I always mention the need to spend time together. Budgeting out time is often a huge friction point in a marriage.

That was several years ago, but it could describe many marriages today.  It was about the same time books and TV advisers were pushing the idea of “quality time”.  They said that it was not the quantity of time your children needed.  It was the quality of the time.  Their theory -- spend several quality minutes with your children, and then don’t feel guilty about not having more time with them.

My immediate response - children do need your quality time.  But they also need your quantity time.  Wives need your quality and your quantity time.  And so do husbands.  And other people that you love.

You get to choose where to spend your time.  Spend it with the ones you love.  Try spending it with your mate. You might save your marriage.  Try spending it with your children.  You might save your children’s future.

And, by the way, God wants your quality time.  And your quantity time.  Every single day.  He wants to spend time with you. The Creator and Sustainer of the universe wants to spend time with you.  You need to spend time with Him.

There is an old hymn that says:  Take time to be holy, the world rushes on; spend much time in secret with Jesus alone.  By looking to Jesus, like him you shall be; thy friends in your conduct his likeness will see.